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keskiviikko 28. elokuuta 2024

Day 43 and the discovery of the ugly truths

Day 43

After 43 days of game abstinence, I am still trying to find my place in the world.

I am on a journey, traipsing through desolated deserts, seeking sources of sustenance. I find the occasional morsel or a droplet of some sweet and savory nectar. It is somewhat hard to reach out for any meaningful, social or stimulating activities that could nourish my soul – or the gaping wound that the world of gaming has held together. When the superfluous exterior starts to shatter, it cannot neither hide nor cover the scars and punctures of the past and present. I am starting to see the fixture, the putty substance that is smeared against cracks and crevices to re-enforce the failing structure within.

I feel foreboding doom and dread.

Is it wise to try this approach of dismantle and repair? And there any real possibility for healing, mending and rejuvenation?

There is hope. I have glimpsed some venues of promise and encountered promising leads. Small level organizations dealing with community approach – they hold promise. Friends and relatives of various backgrounds – there are still some along my circle of reach and trust. Old constructive patterns of learning and university life show some promise – I have always found comfort that life is an eternal path of learning.

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